Argh! More morons: 1st year Java assignment deadline 2 weeks away (worth 45%) and still people have either not started (indicated by them asking questions on our discussion boards like "What do I need to know to do the assignment?") or cannot comprehend how to go about logically constructing a program (questions like "The substring method returns 2 parameters [wrong!] how do I use it?" -- RTFT), despite the assignment having step-by-step instructions in words of 2 syllables or less.

Ah well, at least we can fail them and force them to retake the module ... Whoops! I forgot, Government targets and QAA reviews mean we can't fail them .. it's not their fault they can't program, it's our fault (even if they have a poorer attendance record than Lord Lucan, don't complete assignments and refuse to work through the course exercises!)